the week is half over...

Finished my third treatment for the week and surprisingly feel pretty well. Since last friday the nurses changed my anti-emetic (anti-nausea) pre chemo IV meds to ativan. It's primary use is a sedative and anti-anxiety med...it's doing the trick for me. My nurses set me up on a schedule on when to take the anti-nausea meds and I stick to it pretty closely. What a difference a little tweaking of the meds can do.

I'm happy that my treatment seems to be going well without too many side effects. But I feel like I'm stuck in limbo, semi healthy but unable to live my normal life. That may sound selfish, but it's how I feel. My situation might be cake compared to other patients with cancer but i'm getting tired of sitting around. The chemo is doing it's job though and I just have to key in on the light at the end of the tunnel.

I'm used to gauging my progress with objective meausures. If I'm running I can compare my times, if i'm playing bball it's how well I am helping my team or scoring, etc.., at work I can get feedback about how am I doing with work and reaching my goals. But when your body is fighting disease it's a totally different battle. I'm used to committing myself to a goal and working my ass off to achieve it. In this case you need to be so much more open minded in your approach. My mom and I are aware of the side effects of each chemo med and what to look out for, trying to maintain my nutrition and hydration, and staying mental and physically healthy. Even though we know the tumor is getting smaller it's tough just dealing with this. There are books you can read to help you out but you just have to do it.

I did buy a little treat with my vegas winnings today though.