recovering...

Hi everyone, the effects of the chemo are slowly seeping out of my system. I feel a little bit better every morning I wake up. The thing that's limiting me most is the fatigue. Last night I was lying in bed thinking about the chemo and how its affecting me. It's hard to describe but the symptoms changed from last cycle to this cycle. Last time it was the first experience and I was much more fatigued. This time I have a little more energy but feel a little achier and haven't had any problems with mouth sores or swallowing.

Sorry for all who don't want to hear about all of my symptoms, but that is my gift to you...if you want it. I'm going through this and I'm comfortable with everyone learning through my experience firsthand. I didn't think much of the blog at first, just thought it would be a good way to communicate most efficiently to family and friends. And I guess it's working so far.

I can't compare myself to Lance Armstrong but I did run and train for a marathon last year. Physically and mentally training was intense but it was goal oriented and I saw a light at the end of the tunnel. The actual race was a different story, I was running a lot faster than the pace I planned. I was cruising for and smiling for about 21 miles then the last 5.2 just killed me. I had to stop for about 10-15 seconds per mile but eventually crossed the finish line in the time I was hoping for..3 hrs and 48 minutes. Right when I was finishing I thought I would never ever run another marathon, the end was torture. I was trying to rationalize how that experience has affected me fighting this battle and it has given me mental strength. But it's amazing how when I was training I knew how hard I could go and what my baseline was. What trips me out now is the ups and downs, my baseline is non-existent. My condition is constantly changing and it's unpredictable.

I guess I'm used to figuring something out and going with it, expecting some kind of normalcy. When I finished my first cycle of chemo I thought I had it down and knew what to expect, but I was way off when the second cycle came around. I had minimal nausea all week but got rocked over the weekend. Well I'll have to take a deep breath and suck it up...I'm almost halfway through with it.